Limited and Limitless

kerrya's picture

Every morning this week I have been working with the same passage from my teacher Jason's book "The Instruction Manual for Receiving God". It is about being limitless and connected to the world. The closing statement in the passage is the one that packs the punch: "All day long, whenever you have a decision to make, say to yourself: What would I do if I were completely openhearted and in love with God ?

I struggled first with embodying the words above in an authentic way. I kept feeling all the ways in which I am limited -- like how I contract and hold back and tighten. How sometimes I get really, really small. And want to quit. Or run away. Or disappear. If I'm really honest, once in a blue moon, I fantasize about exiting here for good when the going feels just too much and too tough and too tiring. It feels really good to give voice to these pieces of me.

And then, in the past 24 hours or so, an opening began to bubble around my heart and it kept widening, especially this afternoon and evening. In the middle of a healing session I had with a client, I was so enamored with her growth and insights that I felt like I was going to explode with heart-bursting joy and scatter into confetti pieces all over her livingroom. In this moment, I was indeed "openhearted and completely in love with God!"

Jason speaks in this passage about how we heal as we accept ALL that we are. I realize that I had to first sit and be uncomfortable with my limitedness. That I had to be tender toward the way I can shut the world out or find faults or cast blame or judge shamelessly. Because the truth is: I am only limited by my own limiting of my limitlessness ! Just yesterday, in a very honest conversation, I was able to honor a small voice that expressed disappointment AND, because there was total acceptance for that aspect of me (by myself and the other person), I could then feel myself expand and see the long view -- the perspective and position of this sweet human that I was engaged with. The limited, self-centered, personal-only view shifted far into the background.

And then, to cap this week of exploration, I receive this incredible gift quite unexpectedly -- a video that is limitless in its expression of love (see link below). It is both impersonal and deeply personal. Complete strangers become intimate friends. Their open hearts, in love with God, caress us all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek